


you're my home

by venchar



Category: Paper Girls (Comics)
Genre: Coming Out, Established Relationship, F/F, Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, Period-Typical Homophobia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-10
Updated: 2018-11-10
Packaged: 2019-08-21 19:14:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,243
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16582430
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/venchar/pseuds/venchar
Summary: Mackenzie comes out to her parents. It doesn't go well.





	you're my home

_ “You either stop this perverted nonsense or you’re never welcome in our family again.” _

_ “I never wanted to be in this shit family anyway! Fuck you, dad!” _

_ “Get out of this fucking house.”  _

Mac and her father’s conversation rings in her ear as she pedals her bike as fast as possible away from their run-down home. She can still see the anger in his eyes and his gritted teeth; the words won’t leave her head. They feel like knives stabbing her. 

It’s cold outside - painfully cold - and Mac’s not wearing anything that’ll keep her warm; all she’s got on is a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt. A lit cigarette is the only remotely okay thing right now. 

How could she have been so fucking stupid, she thinks. How did she think that telling her parents she liked girls was a good idea? She can barley accept herself for being gay. In no universe would her alcoholic father tell her it’s okay. 

He yelled at her for what seemed like years, telling her she’s a dyke (just like the girls at school did) before eventually snapping and telling her to leave. Her step mother was relatively quiet, arms folded as she sent judgemental glares to Mac. She eventually agreed with her husband, telling Mac she needed to leave. 

Thank god her brother didn’t live at home anymore. She knew he would be worse. 

As much as the words hurt her, it’s not like she wanted to stay there, either. She grabbed her backpack and bike and left, her only form of goodbye being a middle finger directed at her parents. That’s all they deserved. 

She couldn’t show anyone that she was really hurt. She’s Mackenzie fucking Coyle, the most punk rock eighth grader in Stony Stream. She’s been through more shit than almost anyone has - time  travel and war and all the bullshit that went down on Hell Morning. She didn’t cry when she found out she’d die when she’s 16 or when she had to carry Erin’s bleeding body when she got shot, or when she was nearly killed time and time again - but this? There’s something about having the person who you were raised by just turn on you like that, no matter how much she hated her parents beforehand. 

She’s got to stop being so impulsive. It’s something she criticizes others for all too often, but Mac can’t seem to follow her own advice.

Every part of her is freezing, and it’s not just from the cold air. She feels like she’s died a bit. 

Where the hell is she going to sleep tonight? 

There’s only one place she can think to go. She takes a turn right and pedals as fast as possible to a house that, in the past year, she’d spent far more time in then her own.

It was in the wealthy part of Stony Stream. The neighborhood was such a contrast to her own; the houses were nice and no one’s yards were littered with dead flowers and pieces of trash. It felt like a whole other town.

She kept riding until she came across the two-story home with a brick exterior and a large garden. The windows was dark, suggesting that everyone had already gone to sleep - except for the one top-story window on the side of the house. A large tree sat outside that window, and Mac knew exactly what she had to do. It’s something she’d done time and time again, mostly when it was late at night and she just wanted to be with that one goddamn person - just like now.

Mac took one last drag of her cigarette before putting it out, then leaving her bike against the brick walls of the home.

Taking a deep breath, she started to climb. 

-

KJ ignores the odd sound coming from her window at first. She writes it off as a tree branch or a bird, not bothering to stand up from her homework to check it out.

Eventually, though, it gets more annoying and louder - much louder - prompting KJ to groan and turn around.

She didn’t expect to be met with her best friend - or girlfriend? Things weren’t really official -knocking at her window, looking visibly distraught.

She nearly trips as she hastily makes her way to the window, opening it as fast as possible. “Mac! What are you—“ 

Mac cuts KJ off by jumping inside her room and immediately falling into KJ’s arms.

Mac’s obviously upset, and as soon as she’s in KJ’s hold, she begins to cry. 

Hearing her sob like that is one of the most painful things KJ has experienced.

-

Mac doesn’t know how she’s kept herself from breaking down up until this point, or what prompts her to let all her feelings out at this time.

Maybe it’s the warmth of KJ or her familiar smell. Maybe it’s the feeling of safety in this room - she’s spent so many nights in here, squeezing into KJ’s tiny mattress with her - or the gentle, reassuring voice of her ‘girlfriend’.

Perhaps it was the contrast of KJ to her parents. Her parents smell like beer and cigarettes and blamed Mac for every bad thing. They hated her, and Mac couldn’t blame them for that. Especially her dad, a misogynist and homophobe who never graduated high school. 

KJ, on the other hand, smells like cinnamon and cherry chapstick. She gives good hugs, she’s really good at kissing (Not like Mac had anyone to compare her to, though), and she’s  _ so _ smart. KJ is everything Mac’s parents aren’t. 

Having KJ’s arms around her is an unexplainable feeling. It feels like home - not the dirty house that Mac had lived in for most of her life, but a  _ home _ . The place you go when you’re hurt or scared and need to rest. The place you feel safe and secure, and the place you’re comfortable staying at for a long, long time. 

Yeah. KJ was home. Even if it terrifies Mac sometimes, it’s a fact she can’t deny.

“Mac, Mac,” KJ breathes, running her hand through the short girl’s red hair. “What’s going on?”

“I…” she sniffles. “I told them, Kaje. I told them I was gay.”

KJ’s mouth drops open slightly, brows furrowed. “Mac…” She’s clearly upset. Mac doesn’t even need to specify who  _ they  _ are, KJ just knows. It feels like they have a psychic connection sometimes. “I — what happened? Did they…” KJ sounds like she doesn’t even want to finish her sentence, but she continues. “...kick you out?”

Mac nodded slowly. “I’m an idiot, Kaje. I was mad at them and,  _ fuck _ . I just said it. I looked my dad in the eyes and said that I’m a lesbian. I regretted it the moment I said it.” She chokes back her tears. “Now I’m fucking homeless. All because I wanted to make my old man mad.”

KJ presses a kiss against Mac’s forehead, rubbing her back slowly. “It’s okay. I promise.” Mac can hear the pain in her voice, the way it cracks over her words. “You’re here now.” 

Mac shook her head. “I doubt your parents will let me stay here.” She’d talked to KJ’s parents plenty of times, and while they were kind to her, she couldn’t help but feel like they looked down upon her for being so poor.

“They will, Mac. They love you.” KJ assures her. 

“They love the poor lesbian who’s now homeless and has touched their daughter’s tits?” There’s a weak, barely-there smile on Mac’s face - the first one since she got into that stupid fight with her dad. 

KJ smiles too, a faint blush on her cheeks. It’s a smile that Mac wants to preserve forever. “Yeah. They do.” 

They stay like that for a moment, just holding the other so tightly. Mac’s still crying and is probably getting KJ’s clothes wet, but she doesn’t seem to mind. After a moment, though, KJ notions to her bed. “C’mon. You should lay down.”

Mac follows KJ and lays down next to her, staring up at the ceiling. She hopes KJ won’t mind the tear stains that will inevitably end up on her pillows.

KJ turns over to face Mac and wraps an arm around her waist, nuzzling her face into the crook of Mac’s neck. 

Cuddling like this with KJ is Mac’s favorite thing. It’s so pure and innocent - completely devoid of the ‘perversion’ others say that they have. There’s nothing wrong or sinful about this. Fuck, there’s nothing sinful about  _ anything  _ they do.

It doesn’t feel wrong or bad when KJ is with her. It feels so  _ easy.  _ It feels like this is how things are meant to be.

Mac desperately wished they wouldn’t be seen as being as terrible for what they did in KJ’s room. If only the world could see their love for what it really was - it wasn’t evil. It wasn’t perverted. They were two kids who loved each other.

Yet no one else saw that. 

“I wish I was fucking normal.”

KJ looks at Mac in confusion.

“I wish I didn’t love you as much as I fucking do. I wish you were a boy because then my parents wouldn’t kick me out and we wouldn’t have to worry about being beaten or yelled at on the streets.” She’s crying harder again. “I hate being gay, Kaje… but I can’t fucking help it. I love you and I hate it.”

KJ sat up, looking hurt. She opens her mouth to say something, but hesitates. “Do you want… to stop this?” She gestures to the both of them. 

Mac shakes her head immediately. “Fuck no. I love  _ us _ , Kaje. I just hate myself.”

“For being gay?”

Mac nods. 

“I get it. It… it sucks sometimes. But it’s worth the pain if we’re able to have this.” She leans forward and presses a kiss to Mac’s lips, who returns the kiss right away.

“I just wish we were seen as normal.” Mac sniffs.

“It doesn’t matter what anyone else fucking thinks. We know this is normal and this is right. I don’t care what dumb straight people say.” KJ looks like she might cry now, too. 

“I wish I was as brave as you,” Mac whispers.

“You’re the bravest person I know.” KJ says back, taking Mac’s hand in hers and squeezing. 

Something about the sincerity in KJ’s voice makes Mac cry even harder. She didn’t even know it was possible to cry this much in a day - usually when she got sad she’d just get angry or smoke until she felt better. “God. I’m sorry for crying like a baby. It’s just been way too fucking much.”

“It’s okay, Mac. You don’t have to apologize. It’s okay to cry, alright?”

“I guess.” Mac covers her face with her hands and rubs her eyes. “What am I gonna do? Like, I know I can’t stay here forever.”

KJ shakes her head. “You’re staying here for as long as you need to, dummy. I’m not letting you wander around Stony Stream alone.” She gives a reassuring smile.

Mac smiles back, the tears beginning to cease. “You’re too good, Kaje.” 

“Anything for you, Mac.” 

_ She’s too cute, _ Mac thinks.

“Do you want me to go downstairs and get you something to eat?” KJ continues. “It’s probably best for you to stay up here for now, though. My parents are asleep, but I don’t want to risk them finding us going through the pantry at 11:00pm.”

Mac shrugs. “Don’t worry about it. I… lost my appetite, I guess. But I thought you said they wouldn’t mind me here?”

“They won’t. I just wanna wait ‘til the morning.” KJ explains before laying back onto the bed. Mac follows suite and lays next to her. Their arms are pressed together and they’re both looking up at the ceiling. 

“You haven’t talked to Erin or Tiff yet, have you?” KJ asks after a moment, turning her head to face Mac.

She thinks for a second before groaning. “No. Fuck. What are they going to say? What am I going to tell them?”

“They’ll be worried for you.” KJ says softly. “I know I am.” 

“Let me call them —“ Mac starts to get up, but KJ has a firm grip on her arm. 

“Mac. Rest. Please. We can worry about that stuff tomorrow, alright?” She wraps her arms around Mac, their noses almost touching. “It’s been a… really shitty day.”

“Yeah. It has.” Mac sighs.

“Let’s not worry about anything right now.” KJ continues. “We’ve got each other right now, and that’s all that matters.”

Mac leans forward and presses her lips to KJ’s. 

Mac almost  _ never  _ initiates physical contact - that’s more of KJ’s thing - so when she does, it feels even more special to both of them.

It’s a sweet kiss. It’s a gentle reminder that they are okay - that no matter how shitty the outside world is, they’ve got this room and this tiny bed and all the moments they’ve spent together. It’ll be easier one day - easier to kiss a girl and not feel like you’ve committed a crime. 2171 was proof of that. But until that day, KJ and Mac are just going to have to relish in the moments like this. 

“I love you, Mac.” KJ whispers as they break apart.

“I love you too, Kaje.”

“We’re gonna figure it all out. It’s gonna be okay.”

Mac smiles. “Yeah. It is.”

**Author's Note:**

> my first paper girls fic! :p i really really love writing these girls and i'm hoping to get better at it as time goes on. hope u enjoyed!


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